another perfectly good motorcycle ruined.......

Friday, 31 May 2013

airhead cafe racer project


does my arse look big in this? that's the question, when i'm building, i have a vision in my twisted old swede of the final build, [in truth, it never actually materialises into the 'concept' as i drink a couple of bottles of red wine, listen to some drum and bass, northern soul or punk and my view get's slightly punted off-centre from the original plan] bank holiday monday and i have a vision of the seat i want for this build, compact and bijou, the look of this bike is alway's going to based on the aesthetic of a staffordshire bull terrier, big, thick-set at the front, muscle and sinew, like them blokes in '300', mr's b alway's ask's why i don't look like that, i just tell her that i am inside and she need's to get an eye-test booked,  [hence the chunky 41mm honda forks], fading and tapering away to a super-skinny backend] after an age searching the 'tinterweb i find said seat just up the road in sunny sheffield, i'm amazed when it turn's up the next day, perfect, thank you moto-carbon, oh yeah, please note, this is a mock-up, there's no way i can incorporate that mz forkleg into the build, just need to figure out a sexy little sub-frame instead.......

sporty

after another disappointing week, [electrician bailed again, that's eighteen week's now] i'm beginning to lose faith in people, whatever happened to honesty? if i'd known it was going to be this long i would have made other arrangement's to get my bike wired, anyhoo, turned down a spare s+s bellmouth i had in stock and tie-wrapped a ramair filter to the stub, i'm chuffed with it, looks tougher than the open bell-mouth i had fitted before and, if he doesn't turn up next week, i'm going to go out and buy a fucking r6 and just stick some rim-tape on it, what you sayin' r6 boy?

tt races

macker's on the norton posted a 119.55mph lap today, ten seconds down on the fast boys but still a remarkable achievement, ten seconds in racing is an age, bur really?, ten seconds over a lap of the tt course, on a bike, that to all intent's and purposes is built in a shed in donington? i love the underdog's, me, i'm keeping a close eye out for the norton's and jack valentines valemoto mv agustas.......

Monday, 27 May 2013

'not an original bone in my body'

had loads of negative comment's over the time i've been posting stuff, usually, i just laugh and move on, i know everyone can't be as gifted or as visionary as me and i try and understand how you get it sooo wrong, [ please note, i'm taking the piss] anyhoo, [ey up dutch, chill man, you are trying too hard, i know you have only been riding a bike for , ooh, let's see, four, perhap's five year's? direct access? someone at the office told you bikes were cool?] mr r6, [i'd forgotten he'd posted some shit a while ago about his brother's r6 yamaha, i've ridden them, lot's of them, probably all the different model's, great bike, a very sharp, capable sportsbike] but, you come on here and give it the big-one?, matey, you and your brother are shitting yellow, rim-tape and an aftermarket can? yawwwn, have a look at the ex metropolitan police bike, ex despatch rider donkey bike that he crashed into a gpo van and the bike i built into a cafe racer tweny years ago, yeah baby, probably the same year you were born son, like aretha said, r.e.s.p.e.c.t......[look it up boy's, just type in aretha franklin and perhaps you'll get it, perhaps not]

Sunday, 26 May 2013

airhead cafe racer project


this project was always going to be about building a traditional cafe racer, a fast, big bore aircooled bike and then, as i sat back and thought about it, well, let's just say, i had a bit of a re-think, yep, traditional looks but with a twist, i was originally going to use a big, trad, chrome cafe racer headlight, but, sorting through my 'treasure' i discovered a couple of 'projector' light's, i've always lusted after a treble-nine' ducati with their stacked headlamps but never been able to afford one, so, i dug these beauty's out and offered them up, perfect, off-set too, look even more cheeky, just got to figure out a bracket to mount them, too 'busy' and it will kill the effect i'm after......

airhead cafe racer project

more cowbell, hell yeah! saw, saw, sore, file, file, drink tea, listen to music, drink more tea, walk dogs, drink wine, dangerous said to me today, 'i don't know why you bother, no one will ever see it' ain't that the truth, that's why i do it........

Saturday, 25 May 2013

perfection

every now and again, i see a bike that stops me in my tracks, picked a copy of 'classic bike guide' up at stafford, the new editor, gary pinchin, is getting a load of shit about changing the direction of the mag, me? i reckon he's got it sorted, the 'crazy-horse' sporty engined, 'ace-cafe' bike is a beauty, but for me, the kim boyle cafe racer norton is the one that floats my boat, dee-fucking-licious...............

tourist trophy

blimey, the tt practice starts tonight, here's to a couple of week's of hard, fast racing and whichever god you follow, say a prayer for all the competitors and their family's, respect due......

Friday, 24 May 2013

sporty

lick it, sniff it, scratch it, touch it, [isn't that a track by daft punk? perhaps not then] i needed some new rubber on the sporty, even though i'm still waiting for the fucking electrician to come round and lay hand's on my bike, i rang him the other night, 'ey up paul' 'oh, hello timmy, yes, i suppose you are ringing me about your wiring' no shit sherlock, it's only been sixteen fucking weeks that i've been waiting for some electrickery majik! we are almost half way through the year and i haven't turned a wheel in anger yet, race bike at jim's, sporty in the shed with no wires, anyhoo, today i'm feeling better, new dunlop qualifiers fitted by rob at racing lines, derby, [i buy my race rubber here and wouldn't trust anyone else to fit and balance my wheel's] bargain price too, there's just something sensual about new rubber, i went for a 120x70x17 this time, it's transformed the look of the bike, the 60 section tyre was just too low profile and the front-end looked a bit 'toy-town' i reckon, new rubber, lick it, sniff it.........

Thursday, 23 May 2013

british historic racing, darley moor

norton's, i love 'em me, everytime i look at my built-in-wardrobes in the bedroom, [wardrobes that i funded by selling my fastback commando] i ask myself  'why?'............

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

british historic racing, darley moor

the always entertaining bsso scooter racer's were out in force on sunday, the number 73 machine of joe ravenscroft caught my eye in the paddock, a lambretta 250, prepared to a really high standard, the bike is staggeringly quick and sounded fantastic to boot, joe seemed to be making ground on the following pack with every lap, unfortunately one of the lad's took a hefty fall at the right hand paddock bend and the race was red flagged, the bsso race at all the british historic racing meetings and if you have never seen these machines in the flesh they are well worth a poke around, watercooled,  disc brakes, carbon and titanium, some serious engineering goes into them and the racing is close and hard.........

Sunday, 19 May 2013

british historic racing, darley moor

keeping it real on the bmw front, good to catch up with two blokes who have been so supportive and given me loads of help in the last couple of year's, ben kingham #55 and ron maul, [yep, he's darth's brother, true, would i lie to you?], #66, [just dawned on me, perhaps if i change my race number to 33, 44, 77, 88, 99, 11, 22 etc, etc, i might have more luck? just saying], ben  had four great win's over the weekend on the k, this bike is a work of art, the attention to detail is staggering, to turn a lardy-arse heavy old-man tourer into a race winning machine speaks volumes, talk to ben and he's totally driven and inspiring, check out the link to the bsk speedworks site, [he's building replica racer's and streetbikes too] and then there's ron, promised a 'k' to race in the b.e.a.r.s series, he sold the famous 'helga' boxer twin for a pittance and then the sponsership deal went to rat-shit leaving him without a bike, he's cobbled together an almost stock bike to race in the pre-72's classs and watching him throw the big boxer around and get a couple of fourth place's against pukka race machinery was awe inspiring, ben, ron, we are not worthy........

british historic racing, darley moor

the range of machinery and the standard of preparation could bring a tear to my eye, classic racing heaven, check out the bmw boxer outfit with the engine mounted 'askew' so that the shaft run's straight to clear the wide rear tyre, what about the hard as nail's beeza, the immaculate matchy? the drop-dead velo's? and one of my favourite bikes, the 'tigcraft' 604cc rotax single?  not racing but parading, but, what a brilliant bike and let me tell you how sweet it sounded......

british historic racing, darley moor

sunday morning, dangerous is away ploughing a furrow through northern england in the little motor caravan, [probably re-tarmacing a few drives and doing a little horse-trading along the way too] it's a lovely day, the cold easterly that has been taking the edge off the temperature all week has finally dropped and it's pleasantly warm in the spring sunshine, butty and flask of java and i'm off to darley moor to check out the bhr meeting, i'm packing loads of spare clothes, kendal mint cake, emergency space blanket, heated in-soles, gore-tex boot's, thermal's and three hat's, it's may and it's darley moor after all........

Saturday, 18 May 2013

airhead cafe racer project



i ask my ma, mavis about the carb's, 'what do you reckon to running the cv carb's mum, it will keep the price of the project down to a half reasonable level?' she fixes me with that look that mum's have, 'timmy, do you really want to disgrace the family? talk about spoiling the ship for a ha-penny of tar, your old dad would be turning in his grave, he didn't fight the jerries and the jap's so you could stick to the run-of-the-mill bing constant velocity, one size fit's all bloody boring bing's, you will look like all the other tool's on the 'tinterweb building cafe racer's if you do, take my advice son, chuck the fucker's in the bin and invest in some big dellorto pumper's with some sexy 'fly-eye' bell mouths like the italian's use on the big guzzi's you big cheap-skate' i look at my mum, i love her, she's right bless her, mavis, she know's her carb's alright......

airhead cafe racer project

and then, there's the rear diff's, do i go with the [top photo] early stroke item with the lovely 'wasted' swing arm or, the [second photo] later model 'ribbed for pleasure' item? i'm timmy loveless, it's saturday night, i'm loaded on 'staropramen' czech lager and chardonnay, i'm wearing a white vest, i'm tattoeed and i've got a sharp knife on my person as i run up and down the road swearing at the neighbour's, must be a full-moon or something, either that or i haven't got a bike up and running.........