another perfectly good motorcycle ruined.......

Saturday, 30 January 2016

blind in safety and leafy in love

so, sporty sold and an itch i needed to scratch see's me and dangerous buying an mz 250 etz two-stroke commuter bike to go racing with. a winter of head-scratching, no-sleep and lot's and lot's of work, even more money, [fourteen hundred big ones for a race tuned engine, fuck me!] we turned out a work of art. the scrutineers took pictures and complimented us on our bike. one off yokes, tz 50 moped wheel's turned down to lose weight, brembo brakes, one-off fork brace, handmade carbon covers, turned down stainless fittings, check out the pictures, heart and soul, blind in safety and leafy in love, we made 'motor's' tv, me overtaking three bikes on the grass at snetterton. totally out of control on wet grass at the hairpin. i was shit. fifty-one years old when i started racing. my best position was second from last, but, you know what? i did it. [and my bike looked pretty cool too................................]

Saturday, 23 January 2016

for speed [four speed]

my old four-speed sportster project. ironhead frame and back wheel, drum brake, stock 883 evo engine but s+s race bellmouth on one off manifold, buell header pipes, wrapped because they were rough as a badgers arse. sixteen inch rear wheel rammed up the sharp end, [long, long before harleys 48 before you ask] front caliper is a billet-6 item. i cut out a piece of checker plate and araldited it over the billet-6 logo. honda cbx clip-ons with one-off machined bars, battery carrier, yokes, bates headlight mounting, footpeg mounts, oil tank, coil mounts, aircraft filler chopped into aftermarket chinese copy tank, fireblade controls, reg plate milled and mounted off the primary, seat height? around eighteen inches off the ground [remember, the rear wheel is sixteen inch diameter, add on the tyre and look at the picture four from the bottom for an idea of scale] no paint or powdercoating [bar the wheel rims] shotblasted frame, scotchbrited tank and rear trailer mudguard, [race flag checkers and off-set stripes rattle canned, tube marking pen white highlights and stencilled] low, fast and loud.........

Saturday, 16 January 2016

beaky blinder [aka the ktm supermoto project]

 axle sliders are a prerequisite for bikes being prepared for the novice supermoto series, they serve a couple of purposes, they stop the bike damaging the track and they should hopefully prevent the bike digging in and barrel rolling in the event of a 'low-side'. i scanned the 'tinterweb for some for the 'beaky blinder' project and was suprised how expensive they were! so, last weekend at newark i bought a length of machinable nylon stock and a couple of lengths of 8mm stainless bar and made some instead. total expenditure? just over a tenner. sorted.
   over the holidays i realised just how disorganised we had let the shed become so me and dangerous had a serious clean up. i sorted out all the old harley/triumph/ducati/bmw spares and stuck them on ebay. we got pretty ruthless and junked loads of crap and i even purchased some new storage for all the stainless/titanium fasteners and sorted them out into size order. even the pictures on the wall were culled as i started to feel a little claustrophobic with all the different images. the shed looks a little clinical now but it certainly feels better plus we needed to make some room for the 'not a ducati tt replica project'.............

Friday, 15 January 2016

mardy, drunken rant. [part one]

what's happening people? where's the spark, where's the crack? what's happening in the blogosphere? everyone just seems to be more interested in making money / selling merchandise / saying 'hey, look at me! look how interesting my life is! look how cool i am/my friends are/my bike is/my show/my designer emporium' where's the creativity? where's the idea's? the help? the communication? what happened to the undergound? it just became the 'norm' the 'same as it ever was' taken over by money grabbing tossers with an eye to making a shilling and fucking over everyone else. almost every blog i read has a link to a 'merch' page, what the fuck! what happened to offending people? we have just become too 'politically correct' i don't mean offending 'real' people, just the 'tinterweb toss-pot's pedalling so-called 'kool' to the easily led masses. like anyone gives two-fuck's what i think. i wish i was a big robot so i could jump on the bastards...... [tim bailey- aged 7 and a half]

Sunday, 10 January 2016


had a ride over to newark for the traditional 'winter warmer' this show is dying, half the size of the past few years, overpriced tat, cheap, horrible tool's, 'snap-off'  toss 'biker' fingerless gloves / skull bandanas / 'if you can read this the bitch has fell off'' patches and leather good's, plastic helmets and some bloke selling 'polished' stainless at stupid prices, i'm in the wrong job me, buy a load of shite quality imported 'stainless', machine the grade marks off it and a quick polish and bang them out at four-quid a bolt? squeeze me, baking powder? are people really that gullible? [don't get me started about the bike-shed]  it's a bike show, why do i want to look at stalls selling 'ultimate shower heads' or cooking pot's? total waste of time, the only bikes worth looking at were the scooters, [particularly the total carbon, drop-headset lambretta, just a beautiful bike with lot's of lovely engineering, tried to get a picture of the ' tt legends' scooter with the amazing airbrush pictures of all the old tourist trophy riders on it but had my old box-brownie on the wrong settings and didn't manage to get one decent picture i'm afraid, hey-ho. a word of advice to the organisers. don't charge the vendor's. simples. more vendor's =more competition = lower prices= happier punters. no vendor's= no-show. i'm no genius me but why charge vendor's to show their wares? you are making a fucking fortune off the general paying public! why be greedy and charge the people who are trying to make a living? they've made nothing this weekend. will they be back next year? i don't think so and neither will the punters..........................just sayin' [i'm here all week, any international bank's or multi-national corporation's need any business advice just leave me a bag of used twenty's by the shed door, i promise i'll ring you back / the cheques in the post / i won't come in your mouth......]

Saturday, 9 January 2016

james fountain - 'seven day lover'

'nuff said.....

not a ducati tt replica.

sneak preview of the ex. 'peaky blinder', not a ducati tt replica project. handbuilt, aluminium tank by chad. coming home soon........

Friday, 8 January 2016

beaky blinder [aka the ktm supermoto project]

i'm not a fan of christmas, i admit it, all that false bonhomie leaves me colder than a freshly shaved hipster's chin. [if i hear slades 'i wish it could be xmas everyday' again i'll spew up a concoction of tyskie, luke warm mince pies, cynicism and quorn roast.] don't get me wrong.  i like the time off work but for me it's reaching the winter solstice that does it for me. the promise of the days slowly getting longer, creeping towards spring, brilliant. finished work today and dragged the bikes out of the shed into the milky winter sunshine. started them both up to warm up the thick, cold oil, [i long ago threw my battery 'optimiser' in the bin after advice from an expert who told me to just start my bikes every couple of weeks instead, let them reach operating temperature and i would never have to buy a new battery again. and. you know what? he was right. apparently it's something to do with disturbing the majik stuff that makes batteries produce electrickery, don't ask me why but it works for me] anyhoo, while the bikes were gently warming up me and dangerous took full advantage of sweeping out the shed and completing the clean up operation that we started last week and erm, sort of just ground to a halt while we drank tea and ate hot mince pies.
     dangerous is like larry's evil conscience in the 'animal house' movie, you know the one, 'fuck her...' anyhoo, we are sitting quaffing another brew, dangerous is giving it the bee-gee's 'ooh, ooh, ahh, ahh, ahh' as he gorges on another too hot mincer. between the swear words i can make out ' get your helmet on, go on, just round the block' 'i've got no tax on it dangerous' 'fuck that go on, go, fuck her....' so i end up donning helmet, no gloves and a fetching shorts, batman hoody and trainers combo.
       it's january, the roads are damp, i have a quarter turn throttle, new tyres and  a 63 bee-haightch-pee, 150 kg, big single between my legs, i mean, what could possibly go wrong?
       out onto the road and a big handful of throttle see's the back end of the beaky blinder coming around parallel to the front, holy shit! i'm four feet out of the saddle, both legs flailing behind and getting spat off the highside, how i save it i don't know! i snake off up the road, selecting gears and the rev's rising as the tyres fights for grip on the greasy surface. two laps of the block, front wheel pawing the air, no clutch here just sheer, nasty, power. straight back into the shed. i'm shaking like a shitting dog. dangerous is soiling himself. 'fucking hell' i say. 'fucking hell' say's dangerous. my toes are poking out of my ruined trainer, my sock atomized, toes bleeding. 'fucking hell, i'll put the kettle on........'

Friday, 1 January 2016

poetry, wordsmith, bob smith, we are not worthy........

suddenly out of the darkness of another boring sodium lit night on the streets of parr, sparks would ignite as the douglas dragonfly grounded its pegs around the sharp and dangerously rutted "oddfellows" bend. the rider wrestled the ill handling machine, teasing out more and more performance than was ever intended, in a split second blur of soundtrack and speed he had battered the corner into submission....he now owned it... and off he his next task. nailing it round the "horse shoe".. "aye that will be bob then"... said the teenager looking on in awe. "aye that was bob"... on bob smith
 just by chance i found this comment left by 'z1toecutter' on a post about the legendary racer bob smith. i was contacted by bob's brother in law regarding my post's on bob from way back when and the family sent me copies of a photo album of very personal pictures that i will post to celebrate the life of great man once we have sorted out all the photo credits. bob smith was a great racer, humble, funny and fast as fuck, his memory will live on with the recently announced bob smith trophy races at scarborough, [the scene of many of bob's win's] looking back through the pictures reveals the talent of bob, ex world champions, marco luchinelli, wayne gardner and barry sheene amongst the fellow racers bob bested.
          z1toecutter must have known bob, or, at least been a fan, he has put into words what i can't. respect due.