never trust a man [with egg on his face]

 the peaky blinder ducati project was always going to be a track-bike only machine. that was until i realised that for most of the year it would be sitting in the shed doing nothing, so, the infamous daytime mot passed, taxed and it's ready to hit the road. i've done around seven hundred road miles on the bike since the trackday at cadwell, i really can't get enough of this thing. since nelly at cornerspeed re-flashed the ecu with the rexxer tuning package, [finding a very useful five bee-haytch-pee and a linear torque curve to boot] i've been caning it. it feel's great riding a barely legal bike on the road, no indicator's, small numberplate, no headlight, blah, blah, blah. a thin piece of neoprene for a seat, big analogue tacho and tiny digital speedo, the bike is better than the standard road bike, the fueling is spot on, no lurching and searching like the standard bike, pulling cleanly from two thousand in top gear, it makes riding in town traffic a joy. on the open road? a wiff of throttle will see you past most traffic, the bike is so light and just 'flickable' it actually laughs at you and your feeble human attemps at cornering, 'is that all you have in the locker monkey-boy?'. to say i'm chuffed is an understatement. i've had a couple of minor problems that you get with any newly built machine, [tail-light and numberplate vibrated off and smashed themseves to rat-shit, ended up cutting the wire with my knife and stuffing the mashings down my jacket to get home] my clutch casing mounting screws vibrated out, just a matter of the powdercoating heating up under temperature and shrinking, sorted now] defining moments? the fast saturday evening ride back from lincoln, down to stamford, past rutland water, into melton mowbray for the 'leicstershire tt' visor splattered, bike fly-blown and sticky from road debris, dangerous on my 'yellow-hammer' supersport, deserted roads and warm, low sunshine. oh yeah and the illegal ride back from a distant bike-night, racing to get home before the darkness falls........

today, tomorrow, forever...

so, the firm that i've worked for for almost thirty years send me a letter this week to inform me that they are scrapping my final salary pension, the reason? 'we need to use the money that we are currently spending on pensions for our colleagues to be re-directed into the business so we can invest in the future and enable us to purchase competitors and strengthen our position in this very competitive market' oh. so, squeeze me? your going to use my pension money to invest in the firm's future? ok, so where does that leave me then? 'well, for every ten quid you have put in expect to recieve six quid back' whoa, is that fair? 'well, we have to look to the future, the pension scheme cost's us a lot of money, money we could be using to take the company forward. so, what about my future then? 'well, we suggest you seek financial advice, [at your own expense of course] oh, we have contacted the relevant people and you really can't do anything about it, you can't claim age discrimination, i guess you've just got to suck it up' i had nine years left to work. now? well, i'll be working until the day i shuffle off this mortal coil, hey ho. thursday i trap down into leicestershire for the bike night at the vic in coalville, it's a forty mile ride away, a beautiful, mid-summer night, long day's and i need to get my head. i dig out the 'false' bonneville, [the bike closest to the shed door], i'm soon clear of the urban limits and open up the twin, short shifting through the gears and steering the bike using the wide sportster bars, sitting almost upright and keeping my knee's in tight to the tank. out over swarky bridge, the ancient causway where bonny prince charlie decided to sack it and call it a day, skirting melbourne and through pegg's green, dropping onto the 'a' road into coalville and up to the pub. big steve marsh, his wife deborah, son steven jnr and another old mucker, gadge are alredy there. deb's passes me a tea and i investigate the carpark, a couple of t140 bonnevilles, lary, hot-rod harley custom, beautiful mz, i.s.d.t replica, [stunning bike] warning, warning, honda motorcycles approaching, lovely little green cd 200 cafe racer, resto-job 750-four, [great bike, but, i have personally chopped the shit out of these bikes than anyone still alive, why would you want to put one back to standard? just saying] the bsa gold star? triumph tt rep looking the business. oh yes. the rigid framed cbx, six cylinder chop? i'm looking at it and shaun blockley sidles up at my side, 'i built that frame, got a picture of me sitting on it at uncle bunt's' shaun is ex ncc commitee, retired member but still heavilly involved with the club. as the shadow's lengthen i trap on my own, a fast ride back on dry roads, eyes streaming with the pollen. i pull over as i near home, fly splattered yellow safety glasses, sun sinking, motor ticking as it cool's. today.tomorrow. forever.........

one year on.

one year on. i worked with rod. we spent loads of time together, working away from home, travelling the length and breadth of this country, thousands of miles, sharing dig's, ghoster's, early starts and late finishes. fucking hard, back breaking, dangerous work. we had nothing in common really. he was a fisherman, i loved motorcycles. he was the best welder i have ever seen, as strong as an ox, roll-up hanging from his lip, i like strong tea but rod's stewed brew would strip the enamel from your teeth. rod took his own life 20/06/14. miss you mate.

moto morini riders trackday [aka still the best kept secret in motorcycling]

as soon as the invite to the moto morini riders trackday drops through the letterbox i get my entry back a.s.a.p. seriously, miss this at your peril, more tracktime than you could ever need, laid back and just really good crack, great bikes, ice cream and like minded people, all the ingredients for a bosting day out. [the morini club pay extra for the good weather too] me, chalky and dangerous ended up looking like lobsters, the 'peaky blinder' ran great all day, never missing a beat, got a graze down my forearm where a lad on a montjuic forced me onto the grass at the chicane, he waved an apology, no worries, stuffed him around charlies, balance sorted, fish and chip supper at mermaid fisheries in horncastle, van unloaded, couple of peronis and fell asleep in front of the telly watching the tt coverage, a perfect day.......... 

behind the bikeshed [for consumers by consumers]

i think the new ducati scrambler is brilliant. i'm not just saying that because dangerous has decided that life is incomplete without having one in the shed, no, seriously i think ducati have hit the proverbial nail-on-the-head with this bike. had to laugh when i nipped into the local triumph dealership to pick up an oil filter for the 'false' triumph, i usually just go in, order what i require and fuck off. as i'm standing at the counter waiting my turn i tuned into a conversation one of the salesmen was having with a potential triumph scrambler customer, he was trying his hardest to get the punter to buy a triumph and decided to bring me into the sales pitch. bad move. i just told the geezer the truth, the ducati is 100 kg lighter straight out of the box, it has 75 bhp against the triumphs claimed 50 and the duc is two grand cheaper! i'm sorry, but whats not to like about those figures? no-brainer really........ anyhoo, surfing the net and i see our old friends over a the bikeshed motorcycle club [bikeshed m.c. really? m.c.?] have six ducati scramblers that have been 'customised' by, er, some motorcycle customisers. i follow a link to the london evening standard newspaper. apparently, the bikeshed show started as 'an underground movement hosting custom events for a select handful of dedicated 'shed builders' so undergound that they attract 300,000 followers on social media and a weekly audience of over a million? [these figures from the same article. underground? bollock's, courting little 'shed builders' like ducati, triumph, yamaha and harley davidson! the best statement comes from the head honcho 'dutch' 'the world's best independent, [independent? for fuck's sake!] motorcycle show, run by consumers for consumers' consumers? is this really what it's all come down too? i really don't give a fuck that someone has spotted a business oppurtunity and decided to make a few bob out of it, but, please don't take us for mug's, you really don't give a fuck about people building stuff in shed's. how do you think we went on before motorcycling was invented by you three years ago? the manufacturers must be loving it, you get people to send you a photo, blow some smoke up their arse and invite them down to your show, the factory boy's steal the ideas and bingo! why employ an r and d department when you can get some sucker's to do it for a photo on a blog and a cup of barista coffee! pump some of the money from the bikeshed show into sponsoring a racer, or perhaps the motorcycle action group fighting fund against prohibitive legislation if you are really concerned about the future of the 'underground' scene. enough ranting. got the wiring sorted. hate wiring. backlight / brakelight works, as does the speedo, numberplate mounting sorted. mot time is coming......

eat the baby

evil-bay, i hate it me, my 'bargain' e-bay oil cooler cost me fifty quid, then 25 quid for the cooler to an6 hose adaptors from earl's. four runs on nelly's dyno at cornerspeed, one for the base settings, one for the rexxer ecu re-flash and two for tweaking, fourth run and the cooler splits on the bottom row of the matrix.bugger. the tuesday after the bank holiday i'm on the dog to earls for a replacement, 34 quid, including the cooler to an6 adaptors and 7 quid next day postage! bloody ebay, i get sucked in me. with hindsight, [yes, yes, i know, hindsight is a wonderful thing, i've got an 'ology in it!] i should have just gone straight to earls, but, hey, beat me up, i can't feel any worse about paying almost double for a faulty piece of shit! anyhoo, sorted now, check out my earls push-fit hoses and fittings, can't recommend them highly enough, you literally just cut the hose's to length using a very sharp knife, dip the fitting in clean engine oil and push the fittings and hose together. simples. will stand 250 psi, [the ducati desmodue's run around 60 psi so loads of safety margin] the red and blue anodised fittings are a tad tart's handbag for my liking, but, apparently they are trade-marked to earls and if it does the job then timmy's a happy bunny. spun up some mounting spindles to support the cooler matrix which mirror the tacho mountings and some brackets to mount up a numberplate and rear light so we can get a daytime mot on this thing, found an led tail / stoplight in my stash which originally came with the rg tail-tidy that we fitted to the 'false' triumph, it fit's in better with the look of the 'peaky blinder' bike i reckon, [and anyway, i want to keep the little round tailight previously pictured for my next project, oh, squeeze me, baking powder, did i say that out loud?] onwards and upwards, not sure about the '70's style ducati typeface on the side of the tank?, comments welcome as usual, it's not lacquered on yet as i can't decide............ nearly there now, got to mount up the plate and the gps speedo, a little bit of wiring-up for the mot and i can get out on the road and scrub in the new tyres for cadwell in a couple of weeks time. these little odd's and sod's seem to take forever, but, it was all worth it when i pushed the button, the bike sounds crisper than a bucket full of 'walkers' being rolled in by a fat bloke, the jack russell's are howling, my mum, mavis-from-next-door-but-one comes round to bollock me, a couple of the local horse-riding gentry give me the evil-eye as their mount's shy and best of all, the old witch next door almost falls in her pond and me and dangerous are wearing shit eating grins...........

dandelions

what a strange day. me and dangerous head out on the triumph's. first stop is cornerspeed to check in with nelly and check the progress with the 'peaky blinder' which is up for the ecu re-flash and a run on the dyno. good news, the motor is making a very healthy 76 bhp at the crank and more importantly, 59.9bhp at the back wheel, good figures for an air-cooled ducati 750. more important is the gain throughout the rev range, a flat torque curve and the rev ceiling raised by one and a half thousand rpm. bad news? well, there's always bad news isn't there? the e-bay, 'bargain' earl's oil cooler has split at the seams and spewed it's guts all over the dyno! bugger. luckily there was no drop in oil pressure so no engine damage occured, but, i need to get a new cooler sorted and plumbed in before the morini owners club trackday at cadwell in a fortnights time. why do we always end up having to work to a very tight deadline? especially after weeks of inactivity, i suppose that's just the way it goes. so, we wend our way over to lincoln and the moto-italia shop to check out the new ducati scrambler. i'm a cynical bastard me. it comes from years of being lied to, ripped off and being done down, false promises and disappointment. if the glass is half-full, well my glass has been drained, spat back in my face and smashed on my head. today, i think i had some of my inbuilt cynicism nullified. a proper motorcycle shop, no attitude, no pressure from salesmen with targets to meet, just a cheery greeting and as much free coffee as you could sink and a genuine interest in your bike, run by enthusiasts for enthusiasts. dangerous tentatvively ask's about a test ride on the scrambler 'icon', five minutes later he's out for a ride, thirty minutes later he's back and dropping a deposit on a new bike, hopefully ready to pick up in time to go to the isle of man on for the classic tt / manx gp. me? well, let's just say, if my lottery numbers come up saturday night i'm back over to lincoln to buy the treble-eight racebike that takes the pride of place in the showroom. along with the ducati moped. and a superleggera. and one of those panigale's. and a big monster. we ride out to the cafe at raf waddington for a brew, sitting in the late afternoon sunshine and checking out the vulcan bomber that delivered it's ordinance to devastating effect during the falklands war, the ride back is one of those life affirming things, almost empty roads, a 'brisk' pace ensues, fingers and toes buzzing from the vibration, fly splattered, sore eyes and bikes greasy cool from road film. a couple of cold ones in the shed before the clincher, 'bailey, look at the size of those dandelions'.........