Early Start

Another early start sees me and Chalky setting off for West Wales with his Triumph TR6 in the back of the Mashing Mosheen as he has decided to get the old girl rebuilt professionally at SRM in Aberystwyth, I’ve been trying to keep it limping along for him for the last few years, this summer I chucked a new clutch in it and fitted a new carb to replace the worn out Amal Spanish copy, but everything is basically fucked, the bike is finished to a high standard but I think the previous owner spent most of their budget on the cosmetics rather than the engine room and time has unfortunately taken its toll and found out the weak-spots, it’s smoking like Bertie the Smoking Beagle, thick clouds of smoke accompany every ropey gear change, it’s a proper bastard to start and there are ominous rumblings from the bottom end, the top end and the everywhere else, it vibrates like Katie Prices Rabbit, leaks oil like the Torrey Canyon and would have Greta Thunberg turning purple with apoplexy. It’s a lovely late autumn morning, cold and frosty and three hours into the journey I pull off onto a forest road, spark up the kettle and get a brew on which we sup as we watch the sun rise over the mountains, half an hour later sees us at SRM. We get to look around the workshop, whoah, we are not worthy, the engine build room is clinically clean, there’s no rush or feeling that they are doing us a favour, they are proud of the work that they do keeping these OBW’s on the road. [Old British Wankers, copyright Superbike Magazine, 1979] 

We skin out, calling in for an emergency Costa coffee en route home, back into Derbyshire and drop off Chalky only to discover I can’t get home due to flooding, WTF! Not seen a cloud all day and yet both bridges into the village are shut due to risk of collapse because the river is so high, a six mile detour sees me home...........

Answers on a Postcard.........

Oh look, there’s a bike in the back of Timmys Trusty Transporter, [aka The Mashing Mosheen] answers on a postcard..........

MZ Race Replica

Very nice MZ TS250 race replica for sale on a ‘well known internet auction site’ at the moment, kudos to you sir, I really like this............

Firestarter

 Wotcha pop-pickers, as the world descends further into madness a quick update from ‘Planet Loveless’ I have mostly been having major eye surgery on a detached retina, [get your eyeball injected twice, nothing will ever seem so bad again] watching the ‘Joker’ film, [brilliant], attending the ‘Stars at Darley’ end of season race meeting, seeing the Honeyblood gig at Rescue Rooms in N%))*:h@m , going to the Classic Bike Show at Stafford, [seriously, I’ve not been for the past 3-4 years and I swear the same people are still on the same pitches, selling the same old rusty, worn out old tat to people who think it’s cool to buy rusty, worn out old tat] to put in into perspective I spied a load of old magazines on a stall outside on a pitch that resembled the Battle of the Somme, they were dog-eared, damp and well thumbed, I dug out 8-10 and asked the bloke how much.
   Now this tub of lard, sat there with his ‘gang’ of five, M1A and combat trousered, jesters hat wearing crew looks me straight in the [good] eye, [do keep up, I’ve just told you I’ve had major surgery] says ‘cover price mate’ squeeze me, baking powder? My 60 year old brain takes a few seconds to realise he wants the full, new, cover price for the mags! ‘Mucker’ I reply, ‘really, surely you want to deal, it’s late Sunday afternoon, everyone’s going home, I want to buy the magazines, you want to sell them?’ He stands up, wobbling slightly from the effects of sitting quaffing warm supermarket ale from tins all weekend and obviously buoyed by the support of ‘The Sons of Arthritis’ says ‘put them back and fuck off’
    So, I did. I must be getting old. A few years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about steaming into them and beating a few to a bloody pulp, instead I just walked away without a second word, their raucous laughter echoing in my ears.
    Back to Wales, Monmouthshire, a shepherd hut in a wood, wood burning stove, walking in the mountains with Mrs B and Ted and Bob, The Sugarloaf, Tintern Abbey, Raglan Castle, sunrises and sunsets, the beautiful Wye Valley. Leaves falling, cattle calling, amber, red and gold, woodsmoke, punk rock and standing stones........
   

Wales

Just back from a great week in Wales, me, Mrs B, Ted and our new pup Bob the Dog. Bob has had a hard start in life, his mum is a rescue dog, bought from travellers and pregnant with five puppies, she lost two but the surviving pups are all healthy, mischievous Parson Jack Russell/ Chihuahua crosses, little skinny fuckers but with massive hearts and attitudes to match. Since we lost Gus back in 2017 I swore I wouldn’t have another dog but I really think dogs find you not the other way around, so here’s Bob! 

After 15 years of road trips to the ‘States, due to circumstances we have had to stay closer to home this year, we packed the van and headed to mid-Wales, a tiny camping pod on a farm, twenty miles from the ‘local’ shop, Red Kites skimming above our heads, the only sound sheep grazing and the wind, a distant dog barking and the crackle of our fire sending sparks into the dark sky, light pollution zero, the stars standing out against the inky blackness, dolphins playing in the surf at Mwnt, the coast walk from Aberporth to Tresaith, the waterfall cascading down the cliffs into the sea, the forest walks, foraging for wild mushrooms and drinking tea waiting for the sun to rise..............

Practical Sportsbike Trackday, Cadwell Park.

You know how it goes, it’s the Practical Sportsbike trackday at Cadwell Park, it’s on my calendar in the shed, it’s a lovely early autumn day, i have a leisurely breakfast, walk the dogs, sit in the warm sunshine drinking tea and trying to decide if I should do some domestics or drag a bike out of the shed and get my lazy arse out there. Thirty minutes later, showered, shaved, sandwich made courtesy of Mrs B and I’m on my way on the 790, fuel up at the Lion Garage and a ‘brisk’ ride sees me despatch the hundred miles in a little under 90 minutes. I get passed in a thirty limit by a toss-pot on a Speed Triple who gives me a ‘friendly’ wave, I resist the urge to rise to the bait and maintain my thirty miles per hour, giving the KTM it’s head as I exit the village, ‘lard boy’ is in my sights, I catch him easily and pass him and he soon disappears from my mirror.
   Horncastle, home of the second best chippy in the world and I get passed again by ‘lard boy’ who this time decides to give it the ‘English Archers’ as he burns past me at 80+ in a thirty. Out of Horncastle and i catch and pass him again, the twat is actually ‘leg dangling’ in a moto gp stylee for fucks sake! As I park up matey pulls up at the side of me and attempts a clumsy high five which I ignore. He still doesn’t get the message as I take off my helmet and he attempts to engage me in conversation. ‘That was fun’ I stow my gloves in my Arai, drop my day sack on the floor, ‘I said, that was fun’ matey still doesn’t get it, he’s grinning like a Cheshire Cat, his hand extended to receive a high-five even after his last failed attempt. Summoning all my willpower not to spark him out I lock my bike and go in search of a brew instead, there’s some class machinery here and the lads out on track are setting a blistering pace, a very pleasant afternoon wandering around the pits, chatting to like minded people, a great early evening ride home and trying to dismiss the craving for a Suzuki TLR thousand................

Ess-Rad

Trawling evil-bay one evening and a Suzuki gsx-r 600 srad caught my eye, I popped it into my ‘watched’ list along with all the other stuff that I stick in there usually after a bottle of wine and with the cold light of day, sobriety and considered thoughts is usually ‘unwatched’ and discarded into the digital ether with a press of a button and never a second thought. I kept returning to this bike though, an almost standard, unmolested, low-mileage machine, free from the usual tat of iridium screen/ obnoxiously loud pipe/ mini indicators/ ‘shorty’ levers etc. [note to self, are you the same bloke who has cut up a whole raft of motorcycles without a single, backward glance? You two-faced hypocrite!]
   So, apart from a blue screen [bad] and h.e.l stainless brake lines, [ok, there blue so I’m going to swap them for black] it’s a 22 year old bike, three previous owners and a startling 12,000 miles on the clock from new! It needs a gentle massage, I’ve already fitted a new clear screen and  new battery, I need a couple of new front indicators as both are slightly marked but you know I’m ocd and can’t live with what a lot of people would just dismiss. The bike is a credit to the former owners, especially Ruben the guy I bought it off, it lived in his flat alongside his R1 and he was genuinely gutted to see it go due to a lack of use.
   I had originally been looking for a tatty srad project to hack into an endurance racer replica when this turned up but it really is too nice to introduce mr hacksaw to so I’m into a couple of more potential ‘victims’
  As a side-note, this is the first aluminium framed machine I’ve owned, the first jap four cylinder bike since my 750 Honda SOHC fatracker [sic]  and I was going to say the first RWU fork machine for years. And then? I looked at the Moto Guzzi.....................................................

Dufuckincati

 Tuesday night at the Festival of Motorcycling sees the Italian Bike Night in Port Erin, traditionally held on the railway station which was a great venue, it moved down onto the Promenade a few years later, [ I rode the ‘peaky blinder’ TT F2 replica at Jurby and decided to ride it down to the Prom for the meeting under duress from Dangerous and Chalky, no tax, no mot, no insurance, what could possibly go wrong? An un-silenced, illegal race bike on the road, we got loads of interest and admiration, lots of nice comments and chased back to the digs by the local constabulary who, much to my relief, just wanted to have a look at the bike!]

So, the last few years the venue has changed to the local golf course, the land of funny handshakes, Farrah beige slacks and Volvo’s. A pleasant stroll from Base Camp on a late summer night, fizzy lager beer served in a flimsier than flimsy plastic glass and a perusal of the lovely Italian exotica in the car park. And then, there it is, sticking out like a pimple on a pigs arse, a bevel drive Ducati. Dufuckincati. Dufuckingenius.............

Fuckstone

I’ve not posted photos of a ‘custom’ bike for a while, mainly due to the glut of absolute tat available to view all over the ‘tinterweb but this little Royal Enfield really got my attention, it was parked in a side street in Peel during the Moddey Doo/ VMCC show during the Festival of Motorcycling in the Isle of Man. I’m now that out of touch with the ‘scene’ that I don’t really know if you would class it as a chopper or bobber, to me it’s a chopper as I always understood a bobber was a stock bike that you just took off all the standard parts that were not deemed necessary to make it lighter and faster, but, perusing a recent copy of ‘Built’ magazine in WH Smiths [fear not dear reader, I was only picking up my copies of Practical Sportbikes, Classic Racer, Airfix Model World and Pigeon Fancier Monthly] I noticed that anything and everything vaguely ‘custom’ is now a bobber so I stand to be corrected.
      What i do know is that this is a cracking little bike, well proportioned, nicely engineered and some great attention to detail, the orange and matt black paint is simple but really effective and I absolutely love the ‘Fuckstone’ tyres, brilliant...........

ClassicTT / Manx GP [part four]

 If you need any excuse to visit the Isle of Man for the Classic TT / Manx GP then here you go, a selection of bikes parked up at Peel for the Moddey Doo / VMCC meeting, the Honda endurance racer replica is mint, anyone remember Comstar wheels?  No, I didn’t think so, moving swiftly on, Katana, you know I love them, I’ve had a lot of Suzuki’s GS750’s , GS1000’s and a very rare GSX 1000 Katana [and a recent classic Suzuki purchase to be revealed shortly] flat tank Sunbeam and rigid framed, pushrod Norton racebike, fishtail exhaust, no lights and race number boards.............

Classic TT / Manx GP [part three]

 Tuesday on the island is usually a ‘free’ day, the Classic TT is done and the Manx GP starts on Wednesday, this year, due to the inclement weather, we had racing on Tuesday, I had every intention of bagging a spot in the hedge at Rhencullen to watch the newcomers, but with a delay in proceedings due to low cloud over the mountain I dropped down to Tynwald Green for the traditional VMCC meeting, only to be met with nothing! Have I missed it? Have I got the wrong day? The only other person present is a very nice bloke on a KTT Velocette who is carefully examining the spark plug of his machine and proceeds to give me a science lesson regarding modern fuel, ethanol content and the politics of emissions, electric motorcycles, dynamos, Indian made Royal Enfield's and some scandalous allegations about a ‘well known former racer’
  I would really like to get a photo of some of the people I meet on my travels but I do feel a tad self-conscious about asking a stranger if I can take their photograph, any suggestions of how to approach this anyone? Anyhoo, matey informs me that the local MCC [ the rather splendidly named Moddey Doo, in Manx Gaelic black dog, which was reputed to have haunted Peel Castle],have worked with the VMCC to arrange a combined vintage/classic/custom show at Peel instead so I wend my way down there to have a gander. I love Peel, the castle dominates the skyline and the gentle arc of the promenade is great to stroll. Today peel has been transformed into a motorcycle Mecca, all along the quayside and promenade there is motorcycling exotica and around every corner, tucked away in corners and even bushes, [all will be revealed!]  there are some real gems. Here’s a few, Triumph moto 2 bike? Yup, AyJay rigid frame, exhaust wrapped OBW? Yep, Sammy Millers aluminium faired NSU Sportmax? present and correct sir! ‘Modern’ racers represented by the amazing line up of lime green classic Kawasaki two-strokes/diesels. More to follow.........