gunter bartusch, mz.

wes cooley

 whooo, whooo, call the police, warning! bank holiday approaching......

 sometimes you might as well just forget it, tonight should have been a simple, run of the mill, bolt on the rear sprocket, shorten the chain, bolt on the rear brake hanger plate and bleed the rear brake, first problem, the sprocket won't fit the locating flange on the rear wheel hub, set up the disc in the miller and bore it to size, bollocks, no mounting hardwear, make a note of the sizes for the classic bike show this weekend, [remember we are using metric where possible because it's easy to get from the local fastener supplier, unf and unc are rarer than a virgin in tiff's on a saturday night], right, make the brake line up, dig out the fittings and i'm two olives short, add it to the 'stafford' list, bollocks, the brake line is too short, add that to the 'stafford' list, i grind the rivet out of the chain after offering it up, drive out the pin with a centre pop and offer it up, round the front sprocket, pull tight around the rear sprocket and drop the rivet link in, the new chain looks the dog's doo-dah's, especially against the aluminium rear sprocket i've had made, stand back to admire and notice the chain is running dangerously close to the rear tyre, bollocks, i dig out a spacer from stock, stick it in the lathe and the jaws drop out, bollock's, too wide, return to the tried and tested shed bodge of draw filing by hand until it fit's, as i tidy up the shed i pick up an old copy of 'classic racer' that stu had been reading, i sit in the 'dog' chair and read the story of libero liberati.........

saturday at the loveless shed, we had a big spring clean today, cleaned down the miller and lathe, cleaned the tools and swept up, dragged the racer out and did a couple of job's on it ready for the trackdays i've booked, i can do three track days for the price of one weekends racing, ok, it's not racing but at least i can get out there and ride the bike, my mate of 35 years turned up for a brew and for me to measure up some wheel spacers and brake caliper mounting bushes, me and mucker go way back, two spotty teenage tosspots causing mayhem on our two-strokes, [steve has 'mayhem' tattooed across his stomach], we graduated to big four-strokes, [me a gs 1000 and steve a 900 honda], i can remember him ripping me mercilessly for buying a harley, i got my revenge when he bought one, he's got four now and i'm still ripping him back, went for a blast on his dyna today, when i got back i went out on the racer, totally illegal, no insurance, no mot, no tax, race bike on the road, i loved it, i know which one i prefer.........

 had some work done, japanese fighting cock's, [ok, let's get all the jokes out of the way, finished?, feel better now?], 'toriwase' is a japanese word that is used as a springtime word in 'haiku' or japanese poetry, i love spring, it's my favourite time of year and i wanted a tattoo to celebrate it, ben drew it up and lined them out, lot of work still to do but he's nailed it......

bullet with butterfly wings.

ben, barse and dave, i'm not jealous, i've got no time to be wasting riding around on motorcycles, i've got loads of other more important job's to do, cutting the grass, doing the recycling, washing the car, cleaning the windows, me?, don't be silly!, i'm far to busy, i have responsibilities, i'm not jealous at all, anyway, it's still too early in the year to risk getting caught out in a shower or getting cold hands, jealous, me?..........

hugo brandstetter, works puch.

malcolm mcdowell and christine noonan in the best film ever, lindsay anderson's 'if...'.......