another perfectly good motorcycle ruined.......

Monday, 25 May 2020

To Here Knows When

First ride out today post lockdown restriction easing, instead of heading to Matlock with the rest of the sheep, [congratulations wankers, you are going to spoil it for everyone else, lining up on the ‘strip’ not social distancing and ignoring the pleas to keep away doesn’t matter to you, pissing in the street because the toilets are shut is going to really further the cause you fucking cockwombles!] wait for the cries of ‘biker discrimination’ and ‘it’s not fair’ in MCN!] Yes, I know that there were ordinary families, cyclists and your grandma doing it too but spare me the righteous indignation, fat leather clad bikers are an easy target as seen in our local rag, don’t add fuel to the fire, eating chips isn’t really part of your daily exercise, there are plenty of roads to ride, preferably on your own without visiting Derbyshires inland version of Skeg-Vegas!
    And whilst we are at it and I’m feeling particularly self-righteous and I’m half way down a bottle of fine red, what’s with all the ‘waving’ bollocks? We aren’t ‘brothers in the wind’ never have been, never will be, stop living out your Sonny Barger fan boy alternative lifestyle, I love motorcycles, I just don’t like the majority of motorcyclists. I must admit to laughing my swede off today when a fellow ‘brother’ on a Bandit actually slapped his chest above his heart as he approached me today, hey bro, I know I’m looking cool, i get that I might be your man crush, I’m a good looking bloke, fast approaching 61 but fit as a butchers dog, I may be folically challenged but that’s the testosterone coarseing  through my system, I’m riding a Moto Guzzi, [yeah, making ‘good progress’ and chamfering the souls on my Doc’s] but for fucks sake keep your eye on the road instead of trying to catch mine..........


  1. Hey Tim, "keep on, keeping on". Maybe its Darwinism, and natural selection in action.

  2. Hey Tim haven't read a good rant in a long time btw " cockwombles " can i find it in the oxford ? Haha

  3. Thanks gentlemen, Darwinism is an interesting concept Jan, wish I’d thought of it and worthy of further exploration, not sure if you will find ‘cockwombles’ in the OD Julian, but it is a great term and second only to ‘thundercunt’!