change your ways

the police do a great job, dirty, dangerous and distressing, no, i'm being serious, i have a lot of respect for them, if some toe-rag is breaking into your house at night you ain't going to be calling 'ghostbuster's' to sort shit out, imagine having to tell someone's nearest and dearest they won't be coming home tonight due to a serious road accident? what about keeping the peace so we can all go about our daily lifes? nah, not something i could do, some low-life piece of shit gobbing in your face? could you keep your temper? i know i couldn't.
           but, [there's always a but, usually before the bullshit] let me tell you what is happening in god's own county, or derbyshire as we call it. there seems to be a campaign to get the local bike night closed down. m.f.n. or, 'miles from nowhere' hosts a couple of bike nights a week during the spring / summer months, monday usually attracts more classic / custom / harley owners, wednesday is more geared towards the sportsbike crew, but, on a hot summer night basically everyone is welcomed from the local scooter lads to panigale trackday refugees, basically anyone interested in anything with two wheels. it's all cool, no attitudes even from the local hells angels who have a ride down every now and then, most people are supping an ice cold coke rather than quaffing vast amounts of ale, noshing a burger and chatting, chilling and checking out the bikes. m.f.n is the former shipley boat inn, situated down a private road and next to the erewash canal, it's literally 'miles from nowhere' no near neighbours to disturb, unfortunately the surrounding roads to m.f.n are all 30 limits through residential areas and the locals are up in arms regarding the noise and 'speeding bikers'.
        i noticed it late last year, heading home after a couple of hours at m.f.n, the police camped at the end of the private road, not just the local bobby but traffic officers, they had the occasional ride down through the pub car park, almost like a show of strength, a.r.v's [armed response vehicles] and a quite intimidating prescence. i started to hear rumours of bikes getting stopped going to mfn a couple of weeks ago, then, i ran into big steve and gadger last week and they told me of their experience. both lads ride harleys, they aren't tear-arse's, just normal, bike riding blokes, [steve has six harleys, a suzuki sportsbike and an old sr 500 yamaha cafe racer in the shed, gadge has two triumphs and two harleys] on the ride to m.f.n they got a tug, the aforementioned a.r.v and v.o.s.a [the vehicle operating standards agency] the police can stop you, v.o.s.a can inspect any vehicle. steve and gadge had a torrid time, small number plates, [steve responds with 'thirty quid? i'd pay that everytime rather than ride with a placard on the back!' bad move, the fine is now sixty quid, but, they can give you a ticket for what they want, ker-ching! that's a hundred pounds then! me and steve go back a long way, he's always been a gobby fucker, but, i'd trust him with my life. the v.o.s.a man decides to inspect his bike further, vance and hines pipes! he shines his torch up the pipe and states 'ahha, there's no baffling in here, no noise retention at all, i can see your exhaust valves!' further investigation reveals no b.s marks on the pipes. a n.i.p is issued, [notice of intended prosecution] then the clincher, the v.o.s.a man informs them that they can impound ANY vehicle that they own, it's a £500 pound tow in and then forty quid a night 'storage' fee per bike, the 'administration' or, sorting the paperwork usually takes six week's! now, i'm no mathematical genius, but, even i can work out that's going to cost you a lot of hard-earned especially x8 bikes that you own.
   the horror stories continue through the week, an old boy on a '55 / '56 velocette barn-find gets a tug by the same mob, no bs marks on his exhaust, [which incidentally he has bought through the velo owners club] he stands his ground and argues the b.s. stamping wasn't even out when the bike was made, no chance, a hundred and fifty quid fine for non-standard pipes!
      mid-week i decide enough is enough, i go and buy standard, legal reg plates for all my bikes, they are horrible. i'm not trying to out run the law, the smaller plates just look better and are more aesthetically pleasing but i'm fucked if i'm going to risk having my bikes impounded.
   fast forward to bank holiday monday, me and dangerous are sitting outside a well known bike shop, polystyrene cup in hand, quaffing hot tea and watching the bikes come and go. to a man, sportsbike / harley / streetfighter / cruiser / bmw, hard panniered, top-boxed tourer they gun it from the shop, rev limiter kicking in, wheely's and just anti-social behaviour, all in the 30mph speed limit.
    i love motorcycles me, they are my passion, i wake up dreaming about them, go to sleep at night reading about them, spend thousands of hours working on them and making stuff for them, but, i feel we may be a tad responsible for our own downfall after-all?...............

Comments

  1. What? and lose all the new found revenue? Being facetious of course...sounds like things are getting a bit much... over there, sounds like they don't give warnings and/or "fix it tickets", Been a bit surprised at what I see people getting away with... lately in my corner of the planet. Unless you are really being blatant about speed or safety here...don't see a lot of bikes pulled over. Maybe it's because we have enough maniacs in four wheeled conveyances to keep the police busy? My brother fits in the blatant category...and probably still hasn't taken care of his last noise ticket. A lot of times with things like that here, a change of exhaust systems and a "proof of correction"...and sometimes no fine involved. Here's hoping they don't shut your nights down...and like you say...a little 'self policing' by some...could go a long way.

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  2. Sounds like the locals, (probably the selectively "tolerant" crowd) are putting the heat on the local fuzz because they feel they're being inconvenienced. If it doesn't fit their idea of "acceptable" they want it stopped. If it takes the Gestapo, then so be it.

    I'm a live and let live guy. You do your thing, I'll do mine. If it inconveniences me, I'll get over it.
    .
    And yes, if someone breaks into my house at night I'm definitely calling the police.
    .
    They'll need to take a report, clean up the blood and haul the poor bastard's bullet-riddled body to the morgue. And heaven help the poor fool if Sputnik gets to him before I do. I wouldn't wish those twenty-two pounds of pure, vicious fury on my worst enemy.

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  3. Glad to see "normal service" has resumed! Totally agree tho, there are some idiots out there, there always are in any group, but most biker types are decent folk. Maybe there aren't any rapists or murderers to catch this week, or is it just a quick earner? I'd go for the latter!

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  8. everything i comment keeps repeating???
    all i said was
    finished with my woman cos' she couldn't help me with my life
    think i'm going insane......lets not get there keep on doing what we do!!

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  10. Pssst...Now that Google's let the cat out of the bag...Don't forget to go over and wish 'Hermit' a Happy Birthday. Damn...I'm a little bastard...hehe...

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  11. ...continuing in that vein..your brudda from anudda mudda...WLP sends greetings and salutations...but, you'll have to go over to my blog for....the rest of the story...

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  12. larry / hermit, remember, you live in the land of the free, me and grant and benchdonkee andy and the rest of us 'brit's' have to live under the shadow of the law of a bunch of faceless beurocrat's in brussels who spend their expenses on strong belgium beer, cocaine and hooker's and for a day-job, pass stupid laws re. the size, colour and uniformity of a vehicle registration plate and thousands of other meaningless, stupid laws which are designed to crush individuality and identity, like the prodigy said, ' fuck 'em and their law......'

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    Replies
    1. How does that song go?..."freedoms just another word for...nothing left to lose.." I guess it's ok, over here, but the 15 year old me remembers the truly free times when I had my first motorcycle...and in my little home town of Rancho Cordova...you could go just about anywhere without worrying about much. These days dirt bikes have to be registered, loaded up and carted to approved riding areas...wear approved mufflers and spark arresters...sigh...at least the motorcycle plates in California are still smallish...

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