another perfectly good motorcycle ruined.......

Sunday, 13 October 2013

Market Research

After last night's post regarding America's Favorite, the legendary Hershey's chocolate bar and Mr. Chris Snyder's defence of my attack on this American institution, I thought I had better back up my drunken ranting with some facts, I decided to give up a day of the Bailey annual holiday researching the 'facts' my first port of call was the local Target store, I conducted a Q and A session with random members of the American public, using the same questions so I could get an accurate picture, my question I put to everyone involved in the survey was 'ey up Mucker, I'm from Derbyshire me, what does thou reckon to that there Devils food, them toss Hershey bars?' I can't believe the reaction I received, total hostility in all honesty, children crying, Mom's shielding their off-spring from me and Dad's pulling out concealed weapons from sock holsters and blasting my Dodge Grand Caravan, Grand Mothers hitting me with furled umbrellas, frightening! I make my way into the Target, trying to look as unassuming as possible while bleeding from a Gran-Ma direct hit to the temple, I find the sweetie aisle and move in, I manage to snap the following photo, I win, you can't give them away! A dollar a piece, five bars for five dollars! I don't know what happened next, one minute i'm ok, the next, i've been maced in the face and I'm on the pavement outside the store, eye's streaming and gasping for breath, as I try to stand, I'm aware of a dude helping me to my feet, he's in his early sixties, wearing longboard shorts and a Grateful Dead t- shirt, 'loveless, it's ok man, I got your back, I've been trying to let the American public know for years man, Hershey's, it's all a Government plot, there actually made from the waste products of 'Jiffy-Lubes' oil change Emporium and 'Bobs Discount Carpet Off-Cutz' we exchange a brief look and he's gone, 'stick with it Loveless dude, keep telling the truth, America deserves better........'


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Duh, still in America

3 comments:

  1. A dollar each or five for a dollar, what a gift !!! Be careful over there mucker, they'll mistake you for some twisted reincarnation of HST, you should let Hermit know of your general daily whereabouts in case you need to be quickly extracted from the mire . . . when the going gets weird, the Derbyshire lad turns pro. XX

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  2. Yep...milk....chocalate...and ya gotta wonder what they are passing off as milk....

    Now which state are you in exactly?

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  3. "HERSHEY'S Milk Chocolate Bar
    Pure and simple"

    Pure?????

    Ingredients SUGAR; MILK; CHOCOLATE; COCOA BUTTER; LACTOSE; MILK FAT;SOY LECITHIN;PGPR (Polyglycerol polyricinoleate mmmmm tasty tasty Polyglycerol polyricinoleate), EMULSIFIER; VANILLIN, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR)

    You would be better off eating the wrapper!

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