another perfectly good motorcycle ruined.......

Friday, 19 July 2013

festival of a 1000 bikes 2013 part three











viewer discretion may be required for the following post, this post contains adult theme and profanity from the outset, thank you, 'what's up with this twat! does he think he's the only fucker trying to unload his fucking van or what?' 'calm down dangerous, he's only trying to get his bike out of his van, there's plenty of time yet, it's only half past seven, get the kettle on and let's have a brew' 'the blokes a cu..' 'dangerous, everybody's just trying to get their bikes out and sorted' ,yeah, but scrutineering's open, i haven't signed on yet and i'm out at 1100hrs and and and i need a shit, and i need a shit now!' he disappears for his evacuation and i unstrap the bikes and wheel them out of the van, onto their stands, fetch water, stove lit and kettle on and i must admit to a little sly chuckle, i've been here for the past four year's and know how it roll's, i've seen it from the rider's perspective and it's amazing , the crowds are five deep at the fences and to actually take part is truly humbling, no wonder dangerous is feeling the pressure, he return's ashen-faced, i give him a brew and he's twitching, 'shouldn't we be signing on now, i don't want to miss it' tea drunk and we sign on, 'just sign the indemnity to confirm you are riding the bike you have booked in' oh fuck, i get that sick feeling in my stomach, i'm lying, i'm going to be riding the 'macchi not the boxer, scrute pass issued and i push the 250 down to the scrutineering shed, the bike flies through, sticker issued and i can see the load lifting off dangerous's shoulder's, my turn now, the 350 fail's miserably, the throttle is sticking and the clutch lever is hitting the cut-away on the fairing, minor repairs and i've got a sticker, another brew, check the tyre pressures and mick and chalky turn up, i've got that guilt thing gnawing away at me, the lad's say 'fuck 'em' but i just can't do it, i'm not made this way, i'm as honest as the day is long and i decide to 'fess up, 'your fucking stupid' rant's the d.man 'their not going to let you ride, don't do it, no-one will even notice' i grab my doc's and head into the race control office, tell the lady the truth, my boxer's not ready, i've scruted another bike and can i ride that instead? 'cause you can love, just sign this form and that's it' fuck me, why was i worried? cause they would let me change my bike at the last minute, now all i have to do is get my head around riding a right-foot gearchange, race pattern, one up- six down gearbox, a four leading shoe grabby as fuck grimeaca  front brake and a bike that won't tick over under  two-thousand arrrhhh-in-the-fucking-pee-emmm, no one said it was going to be easy.......

10 comments:

  1. Nice one, every cloud.........!
    It's a right nail biter this one, when's part 4 out?!

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  2. You've had be biting me nails yer bastard!

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  3. Stoked for ya! Honesty was the best policy, looking forward to the next post.

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  4. I'm with you Lovey, I suck at lying, makes me feel like shit . . . great result you big Boy Scout, now, as Andy noted . . . get to #4 asap . . . jeez I love Inters, forgot about that shot. As for Mr Young my bro from a different fro, a very special man always.

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  5. Tim. Just a thought; have you ever considered writing professionally? Regards. Tony

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  6. patience my precious, patience, bloody hell tony! writing professionally? what? me? that thick bloke who dick's about in a shed in derbyshire?, nawwww, don't think so mate, [but thank you for the compliment] i'll leave that to all the 'professional' journo's, the lad's who can feel the mono-block caliper's flexing under braking, the 'dude's' who know that the fork geometry should have been pulled in by one degree to quicken up the steering and the hero's who should really be on pole position in a bsb race because they are really fast and all us mere mortal's are just a bunch of tosser's, bow down to the greatness that is a pro-jo ego, they can feel the frame flexing and you can't, pwahhhph!......

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    1. Neil got it exactly right Tim. You have a tale worth telling and you do it in a way that keeps readers interested and wanting to know more. That's what good writing is. My heart still aches when I remember you recounting the dog with no name. I'm serious; you're a writer. Whether you want to get paid for it is up to you. Regards. Tony. P.S. You think you'd have to impress everyone with how trick you are? Ha! Catch up on Ed Hertfelder.

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  7. Think Tony is commenting more on your use of the the written world Tim. I often link to your posts because of the way you write about things. It aint to do with the angle of the dangle its to do with the flow of the words.

    And I'm more and more convinced you were a right bugger in a previous life, no one deserves the endless crap that keeps getting chucked at you

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  8. tony, the good squire, bless you gentlemen, i'm touched, no, really i'm touched by your kind comment's, thank you, i've been called some thing's in my life but never 'writer', you know, i would really like to see my old english teacher at southgate secondary modern/ noel-baker comprehensive and show them your comments and just go 'YEAH, see, i told you i could write, when you ripped me a strip off for reading old new english library pulp novels and lambasting me in front of the class for my punctuation and lack of capital's, [some things never change, i just need to get it down without all that old malarkey, i can do it but i'm just lazy]it's what youve got to say that matters, from the heart and truthful, end of. [read up on ed tony, i see where you are coming from]

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    1. Weelll, he might have had some pertinent comments about punctuation & lack of capitals (I'm slightly surprised that excessive use of the apostrophe wasn't mentioned) but that's just for passing exams. In the real world there are spell checkers. You might look up Peter Egan as well (a bit less self deprecating than Ed, but tells a tale like you). Tony.

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