stop look listen,
' i'm late, i'm late, for a very important date....'
just reminded me of new order for some reason.....
off the beaten track.
'i hate duck's me....'
only in derbyshire......
'fucking, rucking duck dastardly!'
' i'm the king of the castle, get down you dirty rascal'
yeah, dead subtle those, fit right in with the landscape don't they?
for scale purpose only, tiny ducati, massive f''ugly wind turbines
friesians.
friesians checking out the ducati.
atom heart mother.
easter. i like easter me, it's like bye, bye winter, hello spring, just one thing though, how come the date changes from year to year? i'm not taking the proverbial here, i just don't understand, my birthday is the twenty-ninth of june, same every year, always has been since 1959, guess it still will be until i shuffle off this mortal coil, but easter? the resurrection of the lord, it can be anytime in a three week period, why is that? is it to fit in with alton tower's not having their new ride finished? perhaps it's to fit in with the chancellor's budget? sky tv's new schedule? the 'next' spring sale? dunno, anyhoo, on a blustery, cold, showery day in derbyshire, [typical bank holiday weather, after a glorious week of nice, warm sunshine while we are all at work...] it's time to head out after a big breakfast, endless tea and dossing on the sofa, the dog's are just reaching cabin fever and chomping at the bit to 'get amongst it' off the lead and terrorising the local rabbit population, oryctolagus cuniculus prove too tricky even for my pair of seasoned hunters and the pesky wabbitt's dissapear underground. onto the old, disused, pit railway branch line, someone has propped up an old 'stop, look, listen' sign up against the fence where the path crosses the line, i'm suprised to see it, i thought they had all been stolen and sold on ebay to collectors of railway ephermara, a worthless warning notice and yet, today, it struck a chord with me, 'stop. look. listen' so simple and yet how often do you actually do it? i know i don't, far too busy to just follow that simple mantra. and so, today, i actually did as the sign suggested, i stopped, i looked and i listened and i added a few more things to that list, smell, touched and felt, i looked at the countryside and i saw the fucking ugly blot on the landscape and surroundings of the wind turbines above carsington reservoir,i heard the birdsong, the traffic noise and the horrible 'wusssh, wusshh, wussssh' of the turbine blades invading the afternoon, i smelt the rain and the grass and the rich, warm smell of hot oil and dry clutch plates, i felt, i felt the pull of the horizon as the big ducati pulled me towards it through the narrow,country lanes like some sort of massive rubber band, not out and out acceleration, just a feeling of 'how did that happen?' no direct input from me, the airbox induction noise, the termi's bouncing back off the dry stone wall's, a drop of the shoulder, the slightest shift of weight see's me barrelling through corners at highly illegal speeds that would see me locked up and the key thrown away and yet it all feel's so predictable, so safe and yet so thrilling, i guess that's why we do it, dangerous yes, life affirming? definitely! i'm cold, wet and need a slash, i pull off onto a lane and park in a gateway, turn around and there's a herd of black and white friesan cow's checking out the ducati, don't know where they came from! they take me by suprise, i walk up to the gate, they shy away at first, but their curiosity get's the better of their fear and they crowd up to me, i can feel their hot breath, i notice how small their teeth are, [worn out through endless grazing on the pasture? dunno, ask a farmer], snot flowing freely, dripping onto the floor and each other, bit like myself really.............
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Sunday, 13 April 2014
Saturday, 12 April 2014
let love speak up itself
Friday, 11 April 2014
distance equals rate times time
that's it. i'm done. fuck motorcycles.fuck motorcyclists. i'm stressed to fuck me. i'm going to take up golf, or fishing, or embroidery, or gardening. anything but fucking motorcycles. i've dropped a right royal bollock, measured up my super-trick, realm engineering, ram rear shocks for the false triumph, smug as fuck, check me out, giving it the big 'un, the shocks turn up and i've given them the mounting hole diameter incorrect, what a twat, not an insurmountable problem, but dangerous is milking it big time, 'bailey, get a ruler!' then, the new 'dangerous' yellow ducati turns up mid-week, the shed is getting a touch 'tight' to say the least, oh well, at least the false triumph is off up to nrp to get an exhaust courtesy of nige, chalky and sweary mick turn up thursday afternoon to do the honours, at last, a bit of room freed up, the dangerous duc is on the bench, he can't wait to start changing bolts, starting with the front calipers, oh dear, in his haste he's rounded off the allen screws and i have to sort him out, carefully drilling out the corroded original items, revenge is mine, 'you know what you get with rushing croftsy?' 'yeah, i know bailey, bruised fingers and kid's.........'
Saturday, 5 April 2014
tomorrow comes today [banana baby]
so, i'm sitting in the shed, it's mid-week, nothing ever happens on a wednesday, [except, we always have a cob from gregg's on a wednesday, that's why we call wednesday's 'gregg's wednesdays at work incidentally, i always have a tuna crunch, i'm vegetarian you see, ok, beat me up, i'm actually a pescatarian because i eat fish and eggs but no meat, i tried a vegan diet, but fuck me, i'm an active bloke, i need some protein in my diet, i ended up tired and skinnier than a junkyard dog and feeling iller than the beastie boys], anyhoo, i'm idly flicking through the ducati's for sale on e-bay, i'm stopped in my track's by this one, a banana yellow, carby model, total rebuild, even down to brand new ducati fasteners, re-sprayed and everything replaced better than they came out the showroom, so, to cut a long story short, me and dangerous don our stripy jumpers, masks and bags with 'swag' written on them and head over to the west midlands prepared to be dissapointed, fuck me, as soon as i see the bike i know it's coming home with us, if dangerous ain't buying it, i am, dangerous win's, he's having it, i lose out, shit happens............
Friday, 4 April 2014
catch a rude awakening
talk about catch a rude awakening, big shock this week, my old mucker, big stevie marsh had two heart attacks and nearly copped it, i've known steve since we were both fifteen, apprentices at the same engineering firm, forty years ago, in that time we've seen wifes, partners and girlfriends come and go, raced bikes, got tattooed, lost good mates, lost our dad's and had children, [not with each other i hasten to add], we go back a long, long way me and steve. jammy fucker that he is, he only had his attack in hospital, he wasn't attending, just doing a job there, straight into the casualty department, where he had his second attack, he had his operation to fit two stents into his heart yesterday, his left ventricle blocked in two places, when i say blocked, i mean blocked, ninety-five percent closed off, the surgeon who carried out his op. reckons he's the luckiest man alive and also the unluckiest man alive, steve is teetotal, doesn't smoke and eats healthily and yet had a massive blockage in his heart. steve is a bear of a man, at 1500 hrs yesterday he was in intensive care, at 1500hrs today he was ringing me and asking me to help him take a walk, we made the short journey to roadhouse tattoo to see ben, 'suppose i'm not getting your dyna then steve?' 'fuck off jonesy!' comes the reply from steve, hold tight, here we go, i tell steve i'd already cleared space for his sportster in my shed and i'm dissapointed, 'fuck off bailey' comes the reply, barse is sitting patiently having his stomach and ribs hammered by ben, the crack is flowing, harley bob, [the honda specialist], turns up, tea is drunk and steve regails a full shop about an alleged incident that took place between myself and an ex-girlfriend on a childrens swing in a public park that resulted in some superficial contusions, a split lip and knettle rash to somebody's private parts, [allegedly], the afternoon disintegrates from here on in, profanity, jokes of a sexual nature, the size of one's gonads relating to the capacity of the bike you ride and then? well, i was going to keep it a secret, but? it's just a priceless comedy moment, one of ben's customers children has made ben a gun out of cardboard, sticky-tape and toilet roll holders, ben decides to run up and down the road outside the shop making machine gun noises at the traffic, 'ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!' all hilarious until the police turn up with an armed response unit, just another day at roadhouse tattoo but a life affirming afternoon for the rest of us...............
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
well, i've sat and looked at it for a couple of day's and today i decided i really couldn't live with it, you have to be true to...
-
early seventies at southgate secondary modern and the young loveless was getting his ear turned by black music, mostly motown and what later...
