catch a rude awakening

 talk about catch a rude awakening, big shock this week, my old mucker, big stevie marsh had two heart attacks and nearly copped it, i've known steve since we were both fifteen, apprentices at the same engineering firm, forty years ago, in that time we've seen wifes, partners and girlfriends come and go, raced bikes, got tattooed, lost good mates, lost our dad's and had children, [not with each other i hasten to add], we go back a long, long way me and steve. jammy fucker that he is, he only had his attack in hospital, he wasn't attending, just doing a job there, straight into the casualty department, where he had his second attack, he had his operation to fit two stents into his heart yesterday, his left ventricle blocked in two places, when i say blocked, i mean blocked, ninety-five percent closed off, the surgeon who carried out his op. reckons he's the luckiest man alive and also the unluckiest man alive, steve is teetotal, doesn't smoke and eats healthily and yet had a massive blockage in his heart. steve is a bear of a man, at 1500 hrs yesterday he was in intensive care, at 1500hrs today he was ringing me and asking me to help him take a walk, we made the short journey to roadhouse tattoo to see ben, 'suppose i'm not getting your dyna then steve?' 'fuck off jonesy!' comes the reply from steve, hold tight, here we go, i tell steve i'd already cleared space for his sportster in my shed and i'm dissapointed, 'fuck off bailey' comes the reply, barse is sitting patiently having his stomach and ribs hammered by ben, the crack is flowing, harley bob, [the honda specialist], turns up, tea is drunk and steve regails a full shop about an alleged incident that took place between myself and an ex-girlfriend on a childrens swing in a public park that resulted in some superficial contusions, a split lip and knettle rash to somebody's private parts, [allegedly], the afternoon disintegrates from here on in, profanity, jokes of a sexual nature, the size of one's gonads relating to the capacity of the bike you ride and then? well, i was going to keep it a secret, but? it's just a priceless comedy moment, one of ben's customers children has made ben a gun out of cardboard, sticky-tape and toilet roll holders, ben decides to run up and down the road outside the shop making machine gun noises at the traffic, 'ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!' all hilarious until the police turn up with an armed response unit, just another day at roadhouse tattoo but a life affirming afternoon for the rest of us...............