it was fear of myself that made me odd

fucking triumphs, i know the factory have tried to get the 'character' of the original bonneville into the 'inckley's but i never realised i was in for pushing it further than i've ridden it, is there anything more frusrating than a bike that start's great, ticks over while you put your lid on, run's great for twenty minutes and then? stops. just like hitting the kill-switch, dead, as in, nothing, zilch, dead. two minutes later, ignition on, starts, runs great and dies, limp back to the shop and go through everything, i must be missing something simple here, check the battery, coils, kill-switch? no, something simple? have i left the choke on?, nah, enough fuel?, yep, bastard thing, i resort to the interweb, ahha, apparently the 2002-2005 carb models suffered with this problem, a faulty batch of ignition pick-up coils, simple to replace just need to get one ordered and the relevant gasket for the cover, sitting reading about this, drinking tea and fighting the flu, i realise the battery on the beemer is charged, connect the leads up and the tacho goes through a lazy 'hi, it's sunday, yawnnnn, it's soooo much trouble for me to even tryyy to start this mo-sheen man, give me a break for fuck's sake' curve, umm, the battery is shagged then, no problem, it only cost me one and a half big-ones, why did i expect anyone to perhaps drop it on a charger for the eleven months thats it's been festering in your workshop? i mean, it's only a lithium race battery, [please note, i have to work a day and a half to replace it, i might be nit-picking a tad, but, really? it's a battery, PUT THE FUCKING THING ON CHARGE! save me a shed load of money replacing a knackered item and show a little care about my bike, is it really too much to ask?] i hook up the original, well tendered and fully charged battery, chokes on, press the button and .... dangerous runs out of the shed, hands over his ears, i'm stood on the bench, eyes streaming from unburnt hydro-carbons, holy shit! loud, like motorhead loud, rev's up like a two-stroke, i'm laughing my bloody swede off! fucking hell, [sorry, loads of profanity here i know, but give me a break]