wednesday night, team loveless are kicking their heels in the shed, waiting for the electrician, waiting for new's on the boxer race bike, dangerous is idly sorting through the milling cutters and discarding those beyond salvage , i'm sweeping up, sighing and listening to sly stone, sighing, standing on dangerous's toe's and letting out deep sigh's, he's getting fucked off with me and eventually crack's, 'stop fucking sighing, haven't you got anything to do?' i sigh, loudly, 'no, just waiting for the electrician and some new's on the boxer race bike, don't think i'll ride anything this year' [big self pittying, self indulgent, sigh for comedy effect] the airhead cafe racer frame is lying on the bench, it look's like a skinny office worker on it's lunch break, awkward and un-loved, i thought is was ready for blasting to remove the old powdercoating, but then i spot it, i must be losing my touch, i must admit i'd missed the steering lock, standing proud like a vicar's erection at choir practice, quick hacksaw job to remove the bulk and onto the miller for some therapy, 'are you doing it, or shall i dickhead' say's the ever charming dangerous, 'you do it, i'll hold it and take some photo's, your skinny little arm's won't be able to hold that big lump up there' 'fuck off you fat bastard' he retort's, 'fuck you right back dangerous, it's a good job you met me otherwise you'd have been sitting in the garden with a tartan blanket over your knee's shouting i want to pee!' bailey! you're a cu.....' 'yeah i know' i say, [treading on his toe again for comedy effect] i love wednesday's me, almost the start of the weekend............
I'm beginning to think you're making this whole 'electrician thing' up Loveymucker, c'mon mate, fess up now and save further embarrassment, you've put the bloody thing somewhere and now yours and Dangerman's collective Shed Alzheimers simple can't remember where . . . stupid old farts. XX
ReplyDeleteNice ink shot BTW mate.
mr williams, how dare you suggest i'm making it up and accusing dangerous and me of suffering from alzheimers? of course the electrician exists you none believer! and while i'm at it, can i wish you and brenda a happy new year and best wishes for 1988 from tony and dungaree's.......
ReplyDeletewhitey dog mucker williams, the header shot is my mucker stevie marsh [on the left] we've been mates for one year short of forty-years, fuck me, i'm old, that's your's truly on the right, photo by princess jessica loveless at ben jones's world famous tattoo emporium, roadhouse tattoo's, ben's a great tattoo artist but he's got a piss-poor idea about bike design haven't you ben?
ReplyDeletehmmmm, piss poor i think not, however, despite the arrival of your very dodgy public toilet dwelling mate with his rainbow wire kit, it appears to me as yet, this year, you have yet to ride one of your many bikes. Mr Big-time Tim make it all myself not off the shelf Bailey, seems you only talk the talk, not ride the bike. Ive ridden mine, broke it, had it mended, rode it and broken it again. Maybe if you stopped biggin' yersen up and actually left that spunk-sock smelling shed you and yer fella live in, and rode the fuckin nails that you bleat on about all the fuckin time, i'd treat you to breakfast in Skeggy. your bikes would fit in there. its where all the wank rides are. oh, feel free to pop over and i'll let you press my off the shelf Performance Machine starter button, after waiting 20 weeks for what looks like the village fiddler, i bet you've forgotten what a bike with a decent wiring loom sounds like when it's running. fuckin old nonces playing with each other. 'oooh let me put this in your lathe" "make sure you lube it up" "ooooh steady steady, im cross threading your arsepiece"
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's no fun being the owner and designer of the world's greatest Harley, but with you guys as competition, it's not really difficult.
oooooooooooooooooooosh!
aah, mr jones, i'd forgotten about you in the past week of pain due to the broken tooth saga, right you cunt, here we go, 'off the shelf performance machine starter button'?, fuck me, i'm quaking in my boot's at the awesomeness off your bubble packed, made-in-taiwan, [r.o.c] piece of shit switch, you must have felt great sending your man pogo down to the local harley emporium to pick that one up for you, are all your 'bro's' touching themselves at the sight of an original, handmade part? [sorry, i meant to say a bubble-packed made in taiwan blah, blah, blah.....]when you build your own bikes you get problems youth, something you'll never know about, pass me the roland sand's catalogue and let's browse some cheque-book charlie shit together, [while we wear our cut-off's and sip a latte yah?]and don't ever mention skeggy again, real men ride to skeggy, it's almost a hundred miles away,[that's about six times more than you and the boy's ride to matlock for a breakfast on a sunday], give me the smell of shed where people make stuff anyday over the smell of the bullshit in the local 'dealership' yah?,,,,
ReplyDeleteyou daft old mardy cunt. my shed smells too. of a bike that starts, and even if it only goes round the garden, thats further than your fuckin hand built bespoke bit of scrap has travelled this year. oh, and as for cheap shit made in the far east. check where your beloved converse "I'm not really a moaning old bastard im still down with the kids" (more like trying to go down on kids) baseball boots are made. oh, China? hmmmm, where are my bespoke Trickers boots made? North-fucking-hampton mate. thats where. England. anyway, I'm sick and tired of your mates telling me what a miserable old wanker you've become this year. ive had a word with Harley Bob. he says he can re-wire your bike AND sort your teeth out. lay off the Werthers Tim, they're bad for your teeth, and we all know why theyre in your pockets.
ReplyDeleteooooooooooooooooooooooooshhhhhh!