when ben jones 'fessed up to him and 'digger dave' dressing up in their cut-off's to watch 'sons of anarchy' i must admit i did titter, that was until we went to texas last year and i spied this 'sons of'' t-shirt in walmart, i just had to have it, don't tell anyone, it's our little secret, but as soon as i put it on i just want to be one of the 'sons', i stand looking at myself in the big mirror in the hall and quote lines from the show, i wander into the shed and sit astride my hawg and i take photo's of myself and i play the lemonheads on my i-pod while i'm doing it, what you saying ben?
i'll tell you what im fucking saying! im sat at me table in the leathers ive been wearing on me bike all day, sweaty bollocks Ben, riding all day looking fabulous, bringing joy to the joyless, whilst singing "Fanny be tender with my love" by the Bee Gees. No fucker's messin' Barry Gibb is the fuckin lord of all. When once you said God, now say Gibb. Only Gibb can judge me. Oh my Gibb. Gibb Almighty. Gibb's Strewth! that bike must have been built by Gibb! Fuckin get on your knees motherfuckers and praise Gibb!
ReplyDeleteTim be careful when you wear the t shirt you are prone to possession !!!
ReplyDeleteGayer than a very gay thing Timothy, oh how the mighty have fallen. Barry Gibb was the only mortal man who Chuck Norris was afraid of, no shit Ben, hard as.
ReplyDeletewhiteline psycho. he knows his shit. i would ride with him. and sing Gibb.
ReplyDeletewhitey and ben, get a room for fuck's sake! ok, i admit it, i've had my 'man-crushes' charlie george, [the ex-arsenal footballer who played for the ram's], david bowie, [yeah, i know, obvious], barry sheene, james hunt, oliver reed, [now there's a 'man's man'], mike tyson, bruce lee, terry butcher, pat butcher, [no, excuse me, she was a woman, well i think she is/was...] but barry fucking gibb? i'm not getting that the mighty chuck was scared of him, tight pant's? check, stack heel's? check, open-to-the-navel, wine-coloured, round-collared shirt? [the same colour as ben's fork-tubes!!] check, chuck would have had a beard wrestling contest with 'gibby' and done him big time, sorry ben and whitey, chuck rules........
ReplyDeletefuck right off tim bailey. chuck wouldnt have even be able to get near the mighty Gibb as he deployed the hi-pitched sonic Gibb-boom, norris would have been vaporised before he was able to throw a punch or lift his leg to kick in his stretch gusset karate jeans. out haired, out bearded and out of his league , fuckin norris mcwerter would be more of a threat! gibb gibb gibb gibb gibb
ReplyDeletefuck you right back ben jones, you are deluded, chuck norris? proper, how can you say anyone who stood toe-to-toe with bruce lee wasn't the real-deal? gibb?, if chuck punched him he'd be lucky to be 'stayin' alive, stayin' alive, oooh, ooh, ooohh' ben jones and gibb, owned, bring it on, 'chuck, chuck, chuck, he don't give a fuck, we love chuck, we love chuck, we love chuck, we love chuck, 'cos he don't give a fuck and he's goin' to knock your gibb spark-out'....[sayin' ben?]
Deletedeflected fuck right back at you Batty boy Bailey, if standing toe to toe with some 9 stone over-rated piss ant makes chuck norris hard, then im jemima puddleduck. Robin Gibb would've knocked them both out, with or without his hairpiece. he'd have owned norris and scalped his chest to make a spare syrup, whilst watching Barry stomp Bruce into the ground. 1 inch punch? Gibbs heels are always at least 3 inches so bruce is already fucked. not a fuckin chance them two piss-poor pub scrappers could take any of the Gibbs, because they are only human, where the Gibbs are actual Gods. Bruce Lee? Fucking Bruised Knee more like.
ReplyDeletewell jemima puddleduck, get back in the pond, the gibb thing?, mildly entertaining, chuck norris? you can't dispute that he was practicing karate at a high level, [not as higher level as me i grant you.....] but, you really have taken it to a depth lower with your 'dissing' [as i understand 'young people' say] of the greatest, mr bruce lee, a martial artist of the highest level, what the fuck do you know about martial art's? stick to wielding a pencil you, you, you, artist, ok, you can draw,so can i, have you seen my pink panther?, i can draw a skull and crossbones, a derby ram and eh, well that's it really, [is it true a horse is the hardest thing to draw? i've just had a go at drawing one and yep, it is] anyhoo, back to the plot, bruce lee = genius, barry gibb = singer in a shit australian band, ac/dc? ruling tha nation, inxs? cool as fuck, barry gibb and the giblets, sorry i mean bee-gee's? wank, what's up ben? the one-inch punch took you by suprise?.......
ReplyDeletekarate. means empty hand, not empty head you fuckin thick fuck! im not dissing bruised knee, jus saying, like heath ledger, he's only a legend cos he died young. stole a load of moves from everyone else, scribbled a book, made a few movies which encouraged a few spotty bokkers to go chop-socky. any half decent aiki-jujutsu practitioner would have snapped him like a twig. after laughing norris to death. most dangerous thing about him was the possibility of catching mites from his chest hair. as for dissing the Gods, check the discography. written performed and produced as much as ac/dc and in-hang meself having a wank-xs put together, owned the world spanning 6 decades. worked with the best, cross genre, not dressing as a school boy or tossing themselves off with a belt round their necks. dont get me wrong, ac/dc and inxs are great, i love them. but the Bee-Gees are to be worshipped. youre either in Tim, or out. Barry can forgive you.
Deleteben jones, stick to what you know, bruce lee was the man, fast as fuck, almost as fast as me back in the day, you don't have to be 'big' to be a martial artist, [same as you don't need a big bike, look at me and you, i ride a sporty, the 'entry level harley dangerous, the 'girl's bike' in the eye's of you and your 'bro's' you have a 'bigtweeeen' and yeah i could blow you into the weed's, pick a road, any road, night or day and i will spank you on my little girly sporty you cheeky fucker] angus is god, hutchence? sweet soul voice that shouldn't belong to a white man, barry gibb? [insert fart noise, insert steptoe and son music, insert a big gold medallion up your arse.....]
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