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mr ben jones, the 'masked molester' collector of sharp knives, sharp suits, vintage tattoo iron's, firearm's, batman paraphenalia and ladies undercracker's, here he is in a photo that he sent me from last weekend, seated on his fire breathing, big inch, harley motherfucking davidson, [poor ben doesn't realise that a humble girly sporty would blow him into the weed's but don't tell him will you], but, check out the sign in the background, 'belland lane' brilliant, if you are from england you probably 'get-it', if you are from one of those foreign country's where you drink coffee and stuff you will be going 'what?', 'belland' is very close to 'bellend', in olde englishe, 'the tip of a man's penis' but, more to the point and far more embarrassing for ben, ssshhhh, no-one tell him, ARE THE RIDICULOUSLY LARGE MIRRORS ON HIS BIKE!!!!!!
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mr ben jones, the 'masked molester' collector of sharp knives, sharp suits, vintage tattoo iron's, firearm's, batman paraphenalia and ladies undercracker's, here he is in a photo that he sent me from last weekend, seated on his fire breathing, big inch, harley motherfucking davidson, [poor ben doesn't realise that a humble girly sporty would blow him into the weed's but don't tell him will you], but, check out the sign in the background, 'belland lane' brilliant, if you are from england you probably 'get-it', if you are from one of those foreign country's where you drink coffee and stuff you will be going 'what?', 'belland' is very close to 'bellend', in olde englishe, 'the tip of a man's penis' but, more to the point and far more embarrassing for ben, ssshhhh, no-one tell him, ARE THE RIDICULOUSLY LARGE MIRRORS ON HIS BIKE!!!!!!
right you cheeky cunt! i may have big mirrors but at least they get used on the road instead of looking into them in my garage whilst tossing one off over a lathe! i sooooo cannot wait for your next tattoo session. and while on the subject of oversize items, and as you must, through some deep-seated in-adequacy, always compare the girl-sportster to the man beast, please notice the extra large front mudguard on my bike. because of the extra large 23inch motherfuckin wheel. not like the upside down kids plastic toboggan you fitted to the girl-sportster last year over the pitiful golf buggy front wheel. everyone who follows this blog will know and agree, but only a true friend would tell you. and dont get me started on that bit of bean-can peashooter you pair have had made! i thought you were trying to save weight! you'll have to countersink your OWN nuts with that heavy old stainless blob. oh, wow. yes those tubes on my bike are TITANIUM. stainless is soooooo last century. Now Tim, regards your disrespect, time for the old jew-banger to come out of retirement methinks.......
ReplyDeleteTim, I think you've been "out-ranted", ha ha ha!!
ReplyDeleteHe's got more front than a very fronty thing the inkslinger with XL bellend, I like the lad . . . in fact Loveymucker, I happen to quite like the standard Hardly Rideable mirror, as far as function goes, hence I left one on my tiny little squatstser with the tiny little golf buggy rollers, but my todger is so miniscule I'd never be allowed by the International League of Men With Enormous Bellends to fit a 23" penny farthing pointy wheel to any of my bikes, looks like you're in for a torrid time at the studio next time Timmy . . . ouch !!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd ride it, but i'm a little long in the legs for a sporty.
ReplyDeleteNice pipes too
Jew-Bangers, Hardley-Rideables and Bellands; does anybody else feel that Ben is a closet; slack jawed, KKK loving hill-billy? Well, his preference for Women of the ebony variety does blow this theory out of the water, or is it all a double-bluff from a racialist mastermind?
ReplyDeleteAll we know is if there is a belland to be ridden on, in the UK, Ben Shithouse Jones will find it and ride it hard!
Keep riding you anti-social, devil-marking bastard.
I think we should all get together and hug
ReplyDeletewhoah! never realised i would get such a reaction to this post as i have done! just to put everyone straight, me and the boy ben are very good friend's, this post was a simple piss-taking session between two very like-minded people, ben doesn't know one end of a spanner from the other, to ben a spanner is one of the sixteen-year-old's who regularly turns up at roadhouse asking for a neck-bomb tattoo without even thinking about the consequences, me? i can't draw for toffee, i'm art-autistic me, when i watch ben drawing or sketching, watch him tattoo, stretching skin and blending colour's, giving people a piece of art that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives, i'm in awe, ben's an artist, me?, i'm a bloke in a shed cobbling bikes together in my spare time, please, if i've misled anyone, i'm sorry, i love this man, [even if i never understood why i had to take my pant's off, leave my sock's on and bend over and touch my toes even though i was having the inside of my arm tattooed?] so, there you go, oh, by the way ben, twenty-three inch front wheel? what a cunt! your big-lardy barge will shake like a shitting dog!
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny . . . you don't reckon I know when you're taking the Michael you silly old, bald, all-nighting, all-biking, all-building, all-swearing cunt . . . I just 'know' that you too have some strange and illicit man-love thang going on, but that's for another time . . . XXX
DeleteAnybody who thinks this is serious needs to take some SARCASM classes.
DeleteAnybody who knows Ben, knows this is tame compared to what he dishes out.
Paging Mike Hunt....paging Mike Hunt....anyone seen Mike Hunt.....?
ReplyDelete