my favourite t -shirt.

after yesterday's disaster i decided to play it cool today, had no intention of riding today, got the garden sorted and chilled in the sunshine with the dogs, plenty of tea and read a couple of copies of 'classic racer', got to 2pm and i hear the weather forecast for sunday, rain, right, thats it, start the sporty up so it warms up while i get my riding kit on, a quick 80 mile blast around the peak district, end up heading towards chesterfield, need a pee so drop into the harley dealership, full of the 'usual suspects', lardy, born again hog members buying overpriced tat like it's going out of fashion, quick look around the bikes and i'm cleaning my visor as i walk to my bike, then i see it, next to the workshop door, from a distance it looks worthy of a second look, flat track stylee with an evel paint job, start to look around it and notice the serious beringer brake caliper, lockwire and mounting for a transponder, the engine bore and stroke painted on the crankcases, 17 inch wire wheels with intermediate tyres, ask the workshop guy who's bike it is, apparently one of their mechanics races it but he wasn't working today so couldn't get the full skinny on it, love the 'bro' harley davidson beer chiller holding the catch bottle for spilt fluids, racer on the road, got a tax disc bolted on, great to find a bike like this instead of the usual identikit ujm's out there, so you got rim tape on your wheels, big deal.

billy davies, used to be the rams manager, got us up into the premiership and bottled it, play-off final vs west brom, we won one-nil, steven pearson goal, after match interview and the bastard say's that 'he wished he had done it with preston'. that was the end really, so he goes to forest, about right really, how i laughed when they fucked up against blackpool, forest spent six million quid in their effort to get back into the prem, we are still suffering because of this twat's buy's, [claude davis?, three and a half million for a donkey who would be hard pressed to make it into a sunday league side], watched the post-match interview and already he is making excuses, do us a favour billy, just fuck right off, oh yeah, were going to do you home and away next season too you red-dog forest bastard.

friday, i have a day off, up early doors, breakfast, walk the dog's and i phone dangerous, 'what you saying?', weather forecast isn't bad so long as we keep to the east, that's it then, quick blast to skegness, we are the furthest place from the coast that you can be in england, 100 miles exactly, plan to have a bag of chips on the front then work down the eastern side of the country , into rutland, melton mowbray, wymeswold, and home, about 250 miles, no problem, round to dave's and we are soon on the way to mansfield, through the horrible bit and out onto the 617 towards newark, dangerous appears at the side of me gesticulating to pull over, we stop and i find my off-side indicator has vibrated off and is dangling by the wires, hitting the rear tyre and generally bouncing about and making a nuisance of it's self, leatherman out and it's soon bolted back on but inoperative, back on the road and the traffic is light, making good progress, 30 limit coming up, roll it off, 30 is 30, that's it, that's my unwritten rule, i don't want to be responsible for knocking a kid or pensioner over, dangerous is struggling, his bike is popping and farting, deja-vu, his bike rolls to a stop. 38 miles out, batteries flat as a fart, i diagnose regulator -rectifier, push the bike onto a pub car-park and phone the aa, couple of cups of decent coffee and the patrol bloke is with us in an hour and a half, he fast charges the battery and i phone ahead to neil at cornerspeed in sutton-in-ashfield to let him know we are on the way, we only have a short time to get back before the charge in the battery has gone.........

...........so dave is on a mission on the way back, we are approaching mansfield and there's that beautiful, long left hander, theres a twat in a mazda mx5 trying to race us, at least he's in the left-hand lane, bye, bye, dangerous brakes, i don't, into the island and i'm ahead, dangerous is at the side of me, he's gesturing to me to pull over, i take the slip road and my number plate is hanging on by one screw, both indicators are hanging off, neither are working, i tell dave to carry on to neil's, out with the trusty leatherman and the indicators are off, the number-plate follows and i stuff them down my jacket in the morrison's carrier bag that i carry my camera in in case of inclement weather, i'm soon back on the road, pull up at a set of lights, two lads in a builders van pull up next too me, 'yer number plates fell off youth', shouts one, 'yeah, i know' i shout back, into mansfield and i'm soon at neil's new workshop, dangerous makes a brew and neil is already bolting on a reg-rec out of his spares pile, apparently there was a re-call on the 1098's, the underseat pipes were frying the reg-rec's so ducati supplied a new one and some underseat thermal protection under warranty so neil has a load spare, good job really at £200 a throw, neil let's dangerous have one gratis, nice gesture that.

arai helmet, best helmet in the world, this is mine, no fancy race replica paint for me thanks, matt black, black visor, mine spent most of sunday afternoon sitting on the roadside verge waiting for the nice man from the aa to arrive...............................

siegfried merkel - mz re125.

bultaco

got cabin-fever today after spending all day in the shed working on the racer so phoned dangerous sunday afternoon to see if he fancied a quick ride out, three pm and we are down to the lion garage to fuel up and off, i'm trying hard to behave but dangerous is behind me showing me his front wheel on every bend, i'm not getting drawn today, nice steady ride, into matlock for a quick brew, it's chilly for may and we decide to head towards ashbourne via carsington reservoir, i love that long right/left combo before you gun it onto the straight, the high banking of the reservoir on your left bouncing back the exhaust note, dangerous gives it the big one and i have to drop a gear to give chase, we turn left towards hulland ward and there's six inches of water on the road where the water board are mending a leak, great, have to clean the bike now when i get home, glance in the mirror and the ducati is no where to be seen, pull up and wait, too long, i spin round in the road and go back, there he is sitting on the bike shrugging his shoulders, helmet off, 'what's up mate?', 'dunno, just died on me right in the middle of the frigging water' says dangerous, i press the starter button, trtrtrtrtrtrtrtr, 'batteries dead mate', the aa man is about 40 minutes, 'ducati ey?, second worse bike in the world for breaking down' he says, 'what's the first' says dave, he smirks and nods at the sporty, 'got to get a recovery vehicle, be about an hour', we wait and the recovery vehicle arrives, i'm impressed, we are on a minor country road in the middle of the peak district and an aa man turns up, he's from leeds, turns out he tracked us from daves mobile phone signal, spooky, the bikes on the back of the truck and away home in less than ten minutes, moral? don't buy cheap-ass chinese batteries and throw that phone in the river because their watching you.

saturday night.

www.shelbynyc.com-evolution of a norton racer.